.::z. 8/8.

such a disappointment.

when i completed my first marathon last yr with a timing of 5:09, i thought to myself, if i ran juuust a lil bit faster, i could have gone below 5 hours. 4:xx would be nice.

so then came the sundown marathon and i was happy; it was the perfect chance for me to achieve that 4hrs+ finish time. its at night for one thing, no sun, no heat, no problem! i had 6mths to train. i had new shoes (at that time). perfect. 9 mins off would be easy peasy.

and so i trained, starting off in december with 3x10km runs every week. then sometime in march, q and i started our east coast park weekly runs. initially it was from BK to NSRCC and back, then from the old big splash to NSRCC and back, and in early may we ran from the carpark just before fort road to NSRCC and back. thats' a good 20km+ run. it even became twice weekly. i go for spin classes and swim regularly, all in the effort to strengthen my cardio.

and so i thought i was ready. boy, was i wrong.

it started out fine, i took just over 2hours to cover the first 20km. thats from changi village, past changi coast rd, NSRCC and big splash, uturn back to BK, and over the bridge across the ECP towards VJC and the siglap park connector. and thats when it first hit me.

the cramps, they were terrible. worse than the ones i got during stanchart marathon. it went all the way up to my groin area. could it be the shoes, i thought. cos ever since i bought them waaay back in nov 07, i've been using them constantly on each and every run, clockin up very high mileage since its the only pair i have. friends had given me advice to rotate between 2 pairs of shoes so as not to wear them out fast. but i kept putting off buying another pair.

siglap. kembangan. another bridge across PIE. bedok north. bedok reservoir. finally, a powergel station. and a banana.

each step was pure torture. my leg muscles tightened up so much, i felt like crying whenever i looked at my watch. i knew my target of below 5 hours was unachievable when i limped past bedok reservoir and it was already 4am.

tampines ave 9. tampines park. another bridge across TPE to pasir ris park. aaah.. how familiar. i managed a slow jog past my old block just opp downtown east. i looked up at my old bedroom window, and i looked at my watch. its past 5am. fuck fuck fuck. i'm performing soo much worse than the stanchart run.

all i can do now is to complete it. i tried to run again, i could see the 34km mark, but i couldnt feel my sole anymore. my eyes got teary, i yawned and closed my eyes a little, and for a brief moment, i fell asleep. wtf. i guess my body wants to sleep now. ok.. 8 more km, and u can sleep all u want.

i walked all the way along changi, the timing didnt matter to me anymore. past the commando camp and into the road leading to the old govt bungalows. it couldnt be that far away now. i picked up speed and imagined the finish line in my head. at that moment, a light drizzle started. i heard a fellow runner saying "wah just nice just nice.. ". nice indeed. i've always loved playing in the rain. the last km. and so i made the final dash. at the changi point ferry terminal, i saw a sign that says "400m more", and a familiar face. the rain was getting in my eyes so i couldnt make out who it was until i hear him shouting my name. Leon! :) it gave me the boost needed to cross that finish line running, and not limping.

and that's it. i didnt hit my target. no excuses, no reasons. the only thing i can do now, is to prepare for the stanchart run in december.

congrats to drey for completing her first marathon! :)