in praise of the vulnerable man
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
a young man comes home after a week in camp. the moment he steps into his bedroom, he takes off his no4 shirt, turns on his PC, and places his handphone beside the keyboard. he clicks on the folder named after his beloved, and many more subfolders appear. he scans through to see which subfolder category best describes the smses that he has been getting the past week from his partner.
he decides on "on the verge of breakup" and opens up the subfolder. there were already numerous text files containing many more smses that were diligently transferred from his hp over the 5yrs they've been together. this was done manually, weekly mostly, sometimes adhoc, but care was taken that every word of every sms was archived neatly in those folders.
it has been a rough week. nasty words were exchanged, heated emotions conveyed through angry emoticons and vulgarities. the cause of it is irrelavant now, his fingers are hard at work pounding the keyboard, the speed getting faster as the words he is transferring gets more vicious.
"what i do is normal, dont u think? ppl keep letters, photos to remind them of the good and bad times, i keep smses. my mobile phone cant store everything, i dont want to delete them away, they're precious to me. yeah the categories do look a bit weird, but that's me, i'm a neat freak"
there were at least 20 categories, ranging from "happy times" to "getting back together" to "angry moments". its amazing how words from those that matters most to us could affect us so much, so deep, permanently. we hang on to them, analyse them to death until we think we've come to a conclusion. we put them away neatly but after a while it comes haunting back, begging to be dissected again for new meanings and perhaps a new hope.
"we're practically married u know. been through everything" he says confidently.
i scan through my own smses. they are still there. i feel the urge to read them again, but instead i put my hp back into my pocket.
calm down, deep breaths and get yourself dressed
instead of runnin around
and pullin on your threads
and breaking yourself up
if it's a broken part, replace it
if it's a broken arm, then brace it
if it's a broken heart, then face it
- mr a-z