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.::z. 8/8.

elegantly wasted.


Monday, April 21, 2008

I was riding my bike to work a couple of days ago and I casually glanced at the speedometer. The digital display says, at that very moment, "80,000km". And then within a minute, it added in another km. 80.001.

During the rest of the journey, numbers kept swirling thru my head. 80,000km. Over a period of 4.5years. The same no of years I was in a relationship with you. I thought about the time I first saw you, I was sitting on this bike, and you ran across the street and said hi to me. How you were my very first pillion rider, and subsequently, my constant companion, going everywhere with you, night and day, rain or shine, day in, day out.

My constant companion. I'm so used to having you by my side, I still find it hard to shake off the idea of having someone else. I still look for you wherever I go, I still see your face in the crowd. Its funny, during a recent trip to KL with my buddy, as he was walking towards the wrong direction, when I wanted to call out for him, I shouted out your name instead, loudly, firmly, and when I realised it, I stood there dumbfounded, amazed about how you still linger around me no matter where I go.

The distance from Singapore to KL is 325 km. Total road length in SG is 3144km. Circumference of the earth: 40,076km.

That means I've ridden my bike around the globe twice over. And perhaps, even if I continue to go around the world trying to forget you, you'll still be in my mind. Its a scary thought but its something real and its something I have to deal with.

A dear friend recently commented about how I am so much cockier these days. More uncouth, crass, boorish. Maybe because I've become more confident, maybe I'm discovering more things now and have only started to realise the potential that was never there previously. Or maybe its because of the simple fact that, I am just trying to harden my heart and not be the wimpy weak Zul anymore so that if you ever do come back to my life, I'd be ready. In the meantime, I'll just keep on searching and letting life lead and teach me.

Or maybe its time to restart from 0km.
posted by zul, 5:28 PM


80000km worth of memories.. how can you wipe off everything and start again?

Just move on..

life is a unfinished journey, yet!
commented by Blogger Leon Koh, 10:08 AM  
Look forward to the future..don't think too much of the past...the past is a lesson learnt that will make you more wiser in future
commented by Anonymous Anonymous, 9:22 PM  
Guess he is irreplaceable and will always take up a special place somewhere remote in your heart...
Hope one of the day, someone worthy and special will find you... and stay by your side for rest of life journey...
Best of luck!
commented by Blogger casio_888, 11:45 PM  

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