.::z. 8/8.

another story to share. it happened yesterday.

there i was queuing up at the axs station right outside the ntuc fairprice at bt merah at about 230pm. beside the terminal, an old man on wheelchair sells singapore sweep tickets every day. he talks in a low coarse grumpy voice, never smiling. yesterday was no different. as i stood waiting for my turn, i could see that the old man was trying to get the attention of passerbys, sometimes they would stop, shake their head, and move on. some would smile apologetically and walk away hurriedly. my turn came, i stepped up to the terminal and started to key in the numbers. the old man's voice suddenly caught my attention.

"mister.. can you help me? i want to go toilet"

fuck. ok. i should help. but..

i asked him to wait till i'm done with my transaction. i was hoping that he would be able to get somebody else's help in the meantime. he did not. i paid my bills, turned to him, and asked "uncle, where's the toilet?"

"interchange"

fuck. thats far. you have to walk to the main road, go up a bridge, cross it, and go down, and walk a bit more.

"the toilets here i cannot use. door small. its ok if you dont have time"

my mind kept thinking about the play i watched the night before. 4 aged women living in a nursing home and lamenting about how their children abandoned them. i should help. i asked uncle how long it would take.

"about 20mins. but u must push me back here. if u dont have time, never mind"

i have the time. i looked at his legs. its dark, as if blood no longer flows. his hands are crippled. its a cold day. if i dont help...

"ok uncle, lets go"

i closed the wooden board that was placed on top of his wheelchair, the board is for displaying the sweep tickets. i started to push him towards the main road. a few people were hogging the way. uncle shouted at them. "hurry la, so slow!" wah. uncle is fierce. but then again he might have controlled his bladder for a very long time already. i had a bit of difficulty pushing him through the lift door. first of all, the door kept closing before i could get him inside. "this door lousy la! havent go in want to close already!", the old man complained. and with the many ntuc plastic bags that were tied around his wheelchair (god knows what's inside), getting him all the way in was tough.

i pushed him across the bridge, got him into the lift at the other side, and went down. we finally reached the handicapped toilet at the interchange. i rolled him inside and stood outside the door proudly. i thought my job was done.

"come in la, help me"

uh-oh. fuck. i've never done this before. fuck. suddenly he reminded me of my grandfather who died almost 20years ago. feisty. brave. i should be brave too. i walked in and closed the door.

the old man instructed me very well. firstly, remove the wooden board from the wheelchair. then, take the pail and wash it. he lowered his shorts and signalled me to place the pail under his willy. i did as i was told. it took him almost 2 mins to start pee-ing. i think for a while, using his fingers, he was trying to coax his lil buddy to please start spraying already. the pail started to fill up to the point of spilling over. fuck, stop stop stop...

he stopped just in time. i remove the pail and emptied the contents inside the basin. wash it, he ordered me. take the toilet paper, give it to me. and wash your hands too, he said firmly. yes sir...

he pulled up his shorts and looked at me. i asked him if everything's alright and if he's ready to be pushed back. he nodded. as i opened the door, he said, "thank you mister.. thank you very much." i smiled.

the journey back to the axs station was much easier, as i already knew what to look out for, and how to maneuver my way around. he started to make small talk, like how cold the weather is, and whether i've eaten. as i stationed him at the exact same spot beside the axs terminal, he thanked me again. no problem, uncle. i hurried back to office and started to ponder.

it made me think of how i'm gonna be like when i'm his age and i wanna go pee. i could only think of 2 ways to avoid this; either i die or kill myself before i grow that old and disabled, or i get as rich as possible and pay other ppl to help me pee.

how enlightening.