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.::z. 8/8.

elegantly wasted.

the scorpion and the frog

Saturday, July 29, 2006

I have told the following story to many people, including the person that really mattered to me for 3 years of my life. We all have a certain inherent nature within us, shaped by many years of values, morals and experiences, especially those that happen during our formative years. Once the nature is formed, it can hardly be changed. It can be surpressed, hidden beneath many layers, but given the chance, or the lack of factors that caused it to be locked within, your very true nature will reappear and becomes you, yet again. Actions become habit, habit becomes character, character becomes nature.

One day, a scorpion looked around at the mountain where he lived and decided that he wanted a change. So he set out on a journey through the forests and hills. He climbed over rocks and under vines and kept going until he reached a river.
The river was wide and swift, and the scorpion stopped to reconsider the situation. He couldn't see any way across. So he ran upriver and then checked downriver, all the while thinking that he might have to turn back.

Suddenly, he saw a frog sitting in the rushes by the bank of the stream on the other side of the river. He decided to ask the frog for help getting across the stream.

"Hellooo Mr. Frog!" called the scorpion across the water, "Would you be so kind as to give me a ride on your back across the river?"

"Well now, Mr. Scorpion! How do I know that if I try to help you, you wont try to kill me?" asked the frog hesitantly.

"Because," the scorpion replied, "If I try to kill you, then I would die too, for you see I cannot swim!"

Now this seemed to make sense to the frog. But he asked. "What about when I get close to the bank? You could still try to kill me and get back to the shore!"

"This is true," agreed the scorpion, "But then I wouldn't be able to get to the other side of the river!"

"Alright then...how do I know you wont just wait till we get to the other side and THEN kill me?" said the frog.

"Ahh...," crooned the scorpion, "Because you see, once you've taken me to the other side of this river, I will be so grateful for your help, that it would hardly be fair to reward you with death, now would it?!"

So the frog agreed to take the scorpion across the river. He swam over to the bank and settled himself near the mud to pick up his passenger. The scorpion crawled onto the frog's back, his sharp claws prickling into the frog's soft hide, and the frog slid into the river. The muddy water swirled around them, but the frog stayed near the surface so the scorpion would not drown. He kicked strongly through the first half of the stream, his flippers paddling wildly against the current.

Halfway across the river, the frog suddenly felt a sharp sting in his back and, out of the corner of his eye, saw the scorpion remove his stinger from the frog's back. A deadening numbness began to creep into his limbs.

"You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.

"I could not help myself. It is my nature."

Then they both sank into the muddy waters of the swiftly flowing river.

I hope this would discourage any would-be frogs from helping scorpions cross any rivers. To that someone, I wish I could turn back the time and prevent the events that led to your nature to be that way. Once again, it has resurfaced, you've thrown away all caution and you're now leading the life you grew up with, at this young age. I was just a mere barrier to what you really desire to do. I've helped you cross many rivers, I have struggled against many currents to make sure you get all the wonderful things across the river, and I have bled along the way. I do those things not for anything else but to see the satisfaction of seeing you happy, well-provided for and SAFE. If there is but just one thing I want to get out of this, is to feel appreciated and not to be scolded or slapped in the face once you get safely across.

I have hit rock-bottom and you have left me to pursue other shores. It will take me years to reach the ground, and start to build a mountain again that I demolish when I met you. It might take me forever to forget about you and the memorable happy times when you were safely strapped on my back. I bid you farewell and I hope to see you one fine day in the distant future with a different nature that you've formed while crossing the many rivers of life.

Until then, this frog needs to learn how to hop happily again.
posted by zul, 7:36 PM | link | 6 comments |

i clench my fists and close my eyes

Friday, July 14, 2006

So I saw pics of both of you, hugging and faces touching each other. Nice. How quickly you move on. But I shouldnt be surprised. I shouldnt get angry either. I mean, I remembered writing in my old blog, some points/rules I learnt when you left me 6mths ago, and after that I broke each and every one of those rules by accepting you into my life again when you come crying back. And now its happening again. You left me again last month and now you're telling me he treats you nicely and the relationship is working really well but you cant forget about me and you're asking whether I want to take you back. WHAAAT? I have no more energy to say anything. You wont learn anything anytime soon.

Remember one of Aesop's Fables? Padawan's Version to that Fable is: 3 Chances. And yes, I think this holds true for this one.

I went for a medical checkup at my army camp on Monday. While waiting for my turn to see the doctor, out of all the places imaginable, I saw this stack of pamphlets on the table right beside my seat. It says "Bounce back after breakup - 5 great ways to conquer crisis". In it, are the following points:

1) It will hurt but not forever
2) There are others out there!!
3) Dont stand on a 3-legged stool
4) It's not the end of the world
5) I'm stronger than that

Kudos, SAF! For those who want to know the entire contents of the pamphlet, leave me a comment.

Been busy with the gang. Batam weekend getaway, NDP2006 preview, movies, meals and general merry-making. But all in good, clean fun ya. Lots of other things happened and lots of pics to put up.. soon! I am SO looking forward to August. Going to sign up for the Mizuno Wave Run tonight, as well as the Sheares Bridge Run soon. Considering the Real Run but it looks pretty hard, its x-terrain.

Sigh. Even Ms Crow is in that kind of mood. "But every now and then you come to mind.. "
posted by zul, 10:56 AM | link | 4 comments |